Que Sera Sera; Whatever, Delhi Delhi

My adventure in Delhi seems to have begun back in Varanasi. After I wrote that last blog posting I was tremendously hungry for something without curry, without dahl, without naan; something maybe to remind me of home. I walked around for a while and, as luck would have it, I found a pizza place right beside the banks of the ganges, secluded by potted plants, bamboo shoots, and vines. Real romantic for a dinner alone. After I ordered (a garlic pizza, of course, and a big bottle of non-fatal water) I sat quietly observing the night's religious practices: corpse burning, music, dancing, more swimming, etc. Then I noticed that one of the potted plants among the group was a stunningly large marijuana tree. The waiters took notice of my taking notice and for the rest of my time there I was under the watchful eye of the staff. Nervous from the terrible stories I have been told along the way both about tourist druggings and weed-related arrests (a life term in jail), and motivated by a confident drug-free (pro-meditation, pro-yoga, pro-healthfulness, pro-awareness) approach to life, I ate each slice of my pizza slowly; waiting for some unwanted side-affects to kick in. None did and I left the restaurant feeling a bit foolish. I sat with this feeling for a while by the river; reflecting on my time here and my growing love for this place and this adventure (with all of its highs and lows, its tremendous moments and its mundane moments, its confident feelings and its foolish ones too). I thought back on my time at the commune and looked for to my time at other ashrams and something clicked in me: I had planned this whole trip (three months doing both India and SE Asia) before knowing what I would find here, and since what I have found in each place is so tremendous that leaving each has been burdensome I had to make a change so as to salvage the journey and restore to it a greater freedom. As such I have dropped going to SE Asia. Though I apologize to Chelsea the most for this - as she was SE Asia's greatest advocate, and rightfully so - I also thank her the most for giving me a truth before I left that applies to this situation: "If you find somewhere you really love, stay there." I have found many such places and one such country, and so now this trip will be purely India. I left Varanasi the next afternoon with a huge smile and a stronger sense of direction. I had breakfast with some kids from Sacramento who, after returning from SE Asia for only a couple of weeks, supported my decision whole heartedly...then I had meditation with my Osho friends down the street and, looking at them, I further understood the importance of such a change: I took this trip into my hands and made it my own; its real now, not pre-crafted. Early the next morning I arrived in Delhi and confidently strided through Paharnganj's Main Bazaar street - like right out of a movie, with merchants and shops and ominously narrow streets and cows walking down one way streets with cars and rickshaws and people all trying to pass eachother and get ahead. I had chai and breakfast at a cute little mom-and-pop (more like pop-and-pop), reading my Lonely Planet (like everyone else in there) to find a good place to stay, rubbing my freshly shorn head (unlike everyone else in there...dreadlocks seem to be popular amongst dirty seemingly-angry israeli neo-hippies), dunking my sweet chaphati in my tea..yummy! I got a room fast as there are like one hundred in each building and all the owners are brothers somehow; then I was off for the day: I dropped off my laundry, I went to citibank, I took a long walk, I bought an awesome handkerchief...whatever. Delhi became magical the minute I met Valario (an Italian 22 year old) and he then introduced me to his new friend Andy (a 36 year old Australian, ex-self-made-millionare turned drug abuser/hardpartyer turned yoga-junkie/world traveler). Since that time I have paled around with these two for the last four days (except when I went to Agra). We have seen all the sites, gone to yoga together, done our own impromptu yoga sessions, had wonderful meals, chaced beautiful girls, purchased beautiful crap, stayed up all night telling stories, getting into all kinds of trouble...having so much fun. We did, as Andy put so well in one of our post-dinner chats, "whatever made us happy." In the time together Andy became more and more, as we got to know eachother, a wonderful friend: a phenomenal role model. Thats all I really can say about it, not only because some of the things we did are potentially incriminating, but more so because the experiences I had with him are stored safely in my heart, in a place where words mean nothing. Tonight, Andy and Valerio and myself had a really nice dinner (rooftop garden/swanky restaurant...cloth napkins!)with a 50 year old Italian artist who is living in southern India Andy met and connected to like I met and connected to Andy: Claudio. To sit with two generations of inspiring male role models (Claudio to Andy and Andy to me and Valerio)was indescribable: I smiled the whole time in the purest way. We must have sat there for hours, talking, drinking, eating, laughing, loving. Then late night chai around the corner, hugs and handshakes, and again I am on my own. But that is too simple: I am always on my own even when with such company, and also, I am never always on my own because I always have such company...all my life...all of you...so much love. I walked home through the ganj and took in the moon and came to the computer. I am so thankful to be alive, and also I am so at peace with the blessed life I have been given that (as I was saying to Claudio in our last moments together...until next summer, of course!)if I were to die tomorrow I would have no regrets, no doubts, nothing left...only love for what has been and what I have seen and who I have known and who I have loved and who has given me love and all of it...fucking all of it...its all. I dont mean to be too gushy, in fact I have tried to keep such things- personal things - to myself while I keep this blog strictly a retelling of events. I suppose I just had to vent a little. I continue to have an amazing time. I continue to see amazing things (the Taj Mahal is beyond words and I will post pictures as soon as I can). I continue to meet amazing people. I continue to find my words hoplessly shallow in the face of such substantial experience. Tomorrow I go to the Golden Temple in Amritsar; then to Dharmasala to kick it with the Dalai Lama; then Manali to do some yoga; then Leh to see the Himalayas; then who knows...? I should shut up now and go to sleep. Love, A